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Sunday, 21 October 2012

Not Fitting

With this title you probably think I'm talking about clothes, well you're wrong.
I'm talking about life!

I'm at a point in my life where I don't fit in socially. I'm thirty-something and single, with no current prospect of marriage. This isn't a big deal for the average person, but in Christian circles this is pretty unusual. My best friend is also single, but currently serving as a missionary in Africa. The other single woman my age from church is also serving as a missionary overseas. All the other women are married, most with children.

So, I'm kind of classified as one of the Young Adults, but I don't fit there either. Most of the girls are at least 4 years younger than me, and the number of single girls is rapidly declining as weddings are fairly frequent.

Then there is the fact that I didn't grow up here, so I have no long history with these people. Even being here for close to 9 years hasn't changed that fact. I've always been on the fringes of the various groups, never taken in to an inner circle.

Friendships have never been easy for me - I didn't have close friends growing up, and most of the good friends I have had end up moving away (or I move) and we lose contact. One thing I have realised is that I have been the one seeking these people out, not the other way round.

I feel that the only time people seek me out is when they want me to do something for them. Otherwise I am invisible - the person everyone forgets to remember.
It's like no one knows what to do with me, so they don't do anything.

WHY???

Is there something wrong with me? Or do they think they have enough friends and can't admit another into their circle?

BIG SIGH!!!

1 comment:

Susan said...
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