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Thursday, 25 September 2008

Cat, what are you up to?

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Black duffle bag

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Las Vegas Churches


This may come as a surprise to those not living in Las
Vegas, but it is a very spiritual city, with more Catholic
churches than casinos!

Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will
give casino chips rather than cash when the donation tray is
passed.

Since they get chips from many different casinos, the
churches have devised a method of turning the chips into
cash.

They send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan
monastery, where the patient and detail-oriented men sort
and count the chips. The chips are then taken to the casinos
of origin and cashed in.

This is done by the chip monks.

You didn't even see it coming, did you?

Received from Dave McDowell.

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Sick Leave


I really needed a few days off from work, but I knew the
boss wouldn't give me time off. I thought that maybe if I
acted "crazy," then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So, I hung upside-down from the ceiling and made funny
noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told her
that I was pretending to be a light bulb so the boss might
think I was desperately in need of a few days off.

A few minutes later, the boss came into the office and
asked, "What in the world are you doing?"

I told him I was a light bulb. He said, "You are clearly
stressed out. Go home and rest for a couple of days." I
jumped down and walked out of the office.

However, when my co-worker started to follow me, our boss
called out, "And where do you think you're going?"

She said, "I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark."

Received from Tom Compton.

Monday, 22 September 2008

Laptop


25 Things Worth Thinking About


1) Give God what's RIGHT -- not what's LEFT.

2) Man's way leads to hopeless end; God's way leads to
endless hope.

3) A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

4) He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

5) In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma, but
never let him be the period.

6) Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.

7) Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a
faith-lift.

8) When praying, don't give God instructions -- just report
for duty.

9) Don't wait for six strong men to take you to the church.

10) We don't change God's message; His message changes us.

11) All churches should be prayer-conditioned.

12) When God ordains, He sustains.

13) WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.

14) Plan ahead -- it wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

15) Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory
position.

16) Suffering from truth decay? Brush up with your Bible on
a daily basis.

17) Exercise daily! Walk with the Lord.

18) Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to
drive.

19) Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.

20) Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps
coming back.

21) He who angers you controls you.

22) Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.

23) Give Satan an inch, and he'll be a ruler.

24) Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them, and God will
clean them.

25) God does not call the qualified; he qualifies the
called.

Received from Rick Widdison.

Hang in there!


Thursday, 18 September 2008

You have Two Choices

I have a feeling I may have blogged this story before, but I think it it worth it.

PLEASE READ THIS E-MAIL. ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN WILL UNDERSTAND AND APPRECIATE THIS STORY.

NEVER LOOSE FAITH IN THE POWER OF CHILDREN
Would you make the same choice?????????
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?'The audience was stilled by the query.The father continued.'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'Then he told the following story:Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?'I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat.
Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all teammates.Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!Run to first!'Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!Shay, run to third!'As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.The crude, vulgar and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.If you’re thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?A wise man once said 'every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them'.You now have two choices:

1. Delete
2. Forward

May your day, be a Shay Day.

Cute Animals

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Tuesday, 16 September 2008

The designer in me ...

... has been begging to be let out over the past few months, however I have some major road blocks in the way.
  1. I live in a rented house and we are not even allowed to put any extra picture hooks up without permission
  2. I live with my parents and share a bedroom with my sister (no living space just for me)
  3. I am trying to finish my CPA and have to study for my final exam.

I have been interested in interior decoration and design since I was a teen and planned the layout for a couple of rooms in the house my parents used to own, using scale drawings of the room and furniture.

I planned to follow that career path until I discovered that most designers were rather 'strange' in an arty way and I quit studying art at school. Even then I kept looking at books and magazines until I was just too busy with work and study.

While at uni I worked as a bookkeeper/office manager/receptionist/personal assistant (Girl Friday) for an interior designer and loved it when she asked for my input (small as it was) on some of the jobs that she was doing.

But now that I'm nearly through my CPA studies the designer in me is pushing forward and begging to be noticed.

The extent of my designer out-pouring has been working on some solutions for my constantly increasing library of books, DVDs and CDs; and trying to find storage solutions for the stuff that I have been accumulating in relation to craft and general life.

It's probably also why I have been inspired by sites such as Ikea Hacker (I'm so glad I found them through Blogs of Note or I may never have found them). Not that I've done any Ikea Hacks myself, but the inspiration is there.

And then I recently spent a Saturday actually at Ikea in Melbourne and I also went to the Melbourne At Home expo. My poor sisterchick was dragged to both of these (Ikea was no problem, but I did practically drag her around the expo when I could get her away from the Nintendo stand).

And so the creative juices have started flowing once again, and the local library (not my personal one) has been getting a lot of business as I start to read about things once more and get some ideas.

Oh, and just for the record, I think there is too much in the brown range of colours being used in current trends. Come on, it's the colour of dirt, tree trunks and ... . Whatever happened to green, yellow, red, blue, etc.

In case you are wondering, as far as my books go, I now have a small DIY bookshelf ($25 at the Reject Shop) sitting on one corner of my desk at home because that's the only place it would fit. My other bookshelf is not overflowing as much as it was, and the new one is filling up fast.

A Single Woman's Prayer


Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.

One who's handsome, smart and strong.
Who's not afraid to admit when he is wrong

One who thinks before he speaks.
When he promises to call, he doesn't wait six weeks.

I pray that he is gainfully employed,
Won't lose his cool when he's annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh send me a man who will make love to my mind.
Know what to say when I ask, "How fat is my behind?"

One who'll make love till my body's a' itchin'
He brings ME a sandwich too, when he goes to the kitchen.

I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never compare me to my best friend.

Thank you in advance and now I'll just wait,
For I know you will send him before it's too late.

Amen

Received from Joy Roman.

Ok, so I don't exactly agree with everything said in this, but generally I kind of feel that way too.

Monday, 15 September 2008

On Hold

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How true is this?! I heard of one person on hold for 5 hours. They were trying to arrange a flight for their unaccompanied child (this can't be done on the internet), and had to wait that long for service - too bad if the flight was all booked by the time they finally got through.

Friday, 12 September 2008

Cheeky!


"Life is like a combination lock; your job is tofind the right numbers, in the right order, so you can have anything you want."- Brian Tracy
I'm not sure I quite agree with the last portion of this quote, but I do agree that life does seeem like a combination lock at times.

Thursday, 11 September 2008

The Wayside Chapel


An English schoolteacher was in Switzerland and looking for
a room to rent for when she would begin her teaching there
the following fall. She asked the schoolmaster if he would
recommended any. He took her to see several rooms, and when
everything was settled she returned home to make final
preparations for the move. When she arrived home, the
thought suddenly occurred to her that she had not seen a
Water Closet (toilet) around the place. She immediately
wrote a note to the schoolmaster asking him if there was a
"W.C." near the room.

The schoolmaster was a poor master of English so he asked
the parish priest about the meaning of the letters "W.C."
and the only solution they could come up with for the
letters was "Wayside Chapel." The schoolmaster then wrote
the following note to the English lady seeking a "W.C." with
her room.

Dear Madam: I take great comfort in informing you that a
"W.C." is situated nine miles from the house in the corner
of a beautiful grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely
grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people, and it is open
on Sundays and Thursdays only. As there are a great many
people expected during the summer months, I would suggest
that you come early, although there is usually plenty of
standing room. This is an unfortunate situation,
particularly if you are in the habit of going regularly. You
will no doubt be glad to hear that a good many bring their
lunch and make a day of it, while others, who can't afford
to go by car, arrive just in time. I would especially advise
your ladyship to go on Thursdays when there is an organ
accompanist. The acoustics are excellent and even the most
delicate sounds can be heard everywhere. It may interest you
to know that my daughter was married in the "W.C." and it
was there that she met her husband. I can remember the rush
there was for seats. There were ten people to a seat usually
reserved for one, and it was wonderful to see the expression
on their faces.

The newest attraction is a bell, donated by a wealthy
resident of the district, which rings every time a person
enters. A Bazaar is to be held to raise money for plush
seats for all, since the people believe it is a long felt
want. My wife is rather delicate so she can't go regularly:
it is almost a year since she went last. Naturally it pains
her not to be able to go more often. I shall be delighted to
reserve the best seat for you, if you wish, where you will
be seen by all. For the children there is a special time so
that they will not disturb the elders.

Hoping to have been of some service to you, I remain,

Sincerely,
The Schoolmaster

Received from PCD.

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

What's in a Word

Once again I have found a meme on a friend's blog.
Thank you Amy.

What is your favorite word?
Home. Makes me think of warm memories, laughter, my family, belonging ...
What is your least favorite word?
Work. For me right now it speaks of boredom, an annoying boss, headaches from spending so much time on a computer...
What inspires you (creatively, spiritually or emotionally)?
Poems, nature, friends, songs
What dampens your enthusiasm (creatively, spiritually or emotionally)?
Boredom, repetition
What sound or noise do you love?
Bird calls, a cat purring, laughter
What sound or noise do you hate?
People eating, phone at work ringing
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Interior Designer
What profession would you not like to do?
Nurse, cleaner, garbologist
What one book, other than the Bible, do you read again and again for inspiration?
I read a lot of novels over again but not non-fiction books.
What would you like to hear God say when you arrive in Heaven?
"Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord!"


How would you all answer these questions???

Forced Landing


Forced Landing

A flight instructor was sent out to help a trainee who had
radioed that he was about to make a forced landing a few
miles from the base. The instructor spotted the plane
standing in a field small enough to present a real challenge
to his professional reputation.

With determination, full flaps and engine just above the
stall, he maneuvered into the field. Climbing out, he
shouted angrily to the trainee, "Just how did you manage to
get into such a small field?"

"I landed in the big field over there," the trainee
explained, "but in order to leave room for you, I had the
farmer tow me here."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

Friday, 5 September 2008

Just around the bend ...


Where do you think this road leads? What is around the bend?
Don't you just want to follow it and find out?
I know I do.
It reminds me of a line from Anne of Green Gables the sequel, where Anne says to Catherine Brooke, "There's always a bend in the road."
Catherine didn't think so, and said "There's no bend in my road. I can see it streching straight out to the skyline."
It may seem like there's no bend, but I think that's just because we aren't taking the time to dream.
Start dreaming a little, you'll find there's a bend.
It can seem to take a long time to reach the bend. I know I haven't got to one of mine yet, and right now it seems so far away that maybe there isn't one.
But that's when I have to remember that God has plans for me. He has a bend in my road somewhere. If He didn't I'd be able to see all that He has planned for my future.
I can't, so I know there is at least one bend, probably a lot more.
Keep moving toward your bend.
Soon you'll be going around it!
What will you find futher down the road, around the bend?

Dogs Having Fun

Make sure you have the sound on for this one!

I'm not a dog person but this really is funny.

Monday, 1 September 2008

Goldfish

How ironic!

A tank of goldfish in a fish and chip shop.

I've seen it before, but this time there's one fish that looks like it's desperate to get out.

It keeps swimming as fast as it can from the bottom to the top of the tank

to the top, sometimes jumping slightly out of the water.

There's a lid on the tank, so it can't get out, but it sure looks funny.

Does it think it will be the next to be eaten?!

Picture from Art.com