Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Tiny hands and tousled heads
Kneel in prayer by little beds
And place their confidence and love
With childlike faith in God above.
Oh Jesus, help us to attain
That simple, childlike faith again.

-Helen Steiner Rice

Some Basic Truths


1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.


1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.


1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

Tuesday, 30 October 2007

The Aussie Drink Driver (True Story)

From the state where drink driving is considered a sport,
comes a true story from the Sunshine Coast, Queensland.
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local
neighborhood tavern. Late in the evening the officer
noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely
The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes,
with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an
eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to
find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a
number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the
car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night),
flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched
on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few cm, reversed a little and
then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more
vehicles left.
At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive
slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently
waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the
flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a
breathalyzer test.
To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of
the man's intoxication.
The police officer said 'I'll have to ask you to accompany
me to the Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be
'I doubt it,' said the man, 'tonight I'm the designated

Monday, 22 October 2007

Oh, Lord, don't let me stumble,
don't let me fall and quit -
Oh, Lord, please help me find my job
and help me shoulder it.

-Helen Steiner Rice

Friday, 19 October 2007


Psalm 27:14 (NIV)
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

We have to wait for a lot of things in this life.
I read this verse while I was on a train recently and it popped up as the verse for the day here on my blogg.

It can be really funny how God can just keep reminding you of something in different ways. Sure I keep reading the verse, but the place, time and format for this verse has changed, even in just the 2 times I've read it recently.

I'm waiting for things now, but mostly I'm waiting for the Lord's leading in my life - what He wants me to do, where He wants me to be, what He wants me to become.

The most important thing about this verse isn't that we are to wait; it's that we are to wait for the Lord. That's why He said it twice, to try to get it to sink in to our heads and hearts.

Wait for Him today, and help others to learn to wait for Him too.

Pick One

Our family was attending a wedding, and I sat next to my
mom, who had my youngest sister on her lap. The groom was
standing at the front as the bridesmaids walked up the aisle
one by one.

Growing restless, my sister looked up at my mom and said,
"So why doesn't he just hurry up and pick one?"

-Carter Durrant

Thursday, 18 October 2007


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Don't start your day by supposin'
that trouble is just ahead -
It's better to stop supposin'
and start with a prayer instead.

-Helen Steiner Rice

Thursday, 11 October 2007


A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said,
'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'
The Lord led the holy man to two doors.

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of
the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell.'

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same
as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, 'I don't understand.'

It is simple,' said the Lord. 'It requires but one skill. You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.'

Remember that I will always share my spoon with you.

Monday, 1 October 2007


One afternoon, a woman goes to her refrigerator for a snack. Upon opening the refrigerator door, she is astonished to see a rabbit sitting inside.

"What are you doing in there?!", the woman exclaimed to the rabbit.

"Well, this is a westinghouse, isn't it?", replied the rabbit.

"Why yes," responded the woman, "but what are you doing?"