Not that I wish I had never been born - life is too interesting for that. And I'm not suicidal. A woman just has certain questions that need to be put into words, and thoughts that must be expressed even if there are currently no answers.
When your 32nd birthday is almost upon you and life has not gone how you thought it might, and if you were only allowed 2 words to describe the previous year and they are 'isolation' and 'loneliness' ... hence the George Bailey moment.
So for those of you who I actually know out of cyber space, these questions and thoughts are for you.
If I was to suddenly disappear, would you even notice I wasn't there?
Of course if I didn't show up for work or the ministries I am a part of you would, but what about in a purely social setting?
When in the past 10 years (because that is how long I've been in my current location) were you the one to approach me, not because you needed me to do something, but because you just wanted to chat and find out how I was going?
When did you invite me to something, not because I just happened to be standing with another person you were asking or because it was the socially acceptable thing to do, but because you actually wanted me there?
If I wasn't at church one Sunday, did you check up on me to see if I was OK?
Is it really that hard to add one more person into your circle of friends?
Why is it that you tell people about how 'wonderful' a friend I am, but don't actually take the time to be a real friend to me?
Why am I the only one making an effort at friendship?
What would you do if I stopped being friendly towards you? Would you try to find out why or just go back to your original circle of friends?
To be perfectly honest, I'm tired of trying to be friends with you without any hope of returned friendship.
I hate feeling this way when my birthday is upon me.
I just need a few real friends - ones who are around and there for me.
I love it that my best friend is serving God in another part of the world, but it's very lonely without her.
So, my challenge to you is - will you think about the people around you; the ones who are offering friendship, but you don't have time for?
They could be the best friends you will ever have, but you're missing it because you won't reach out to them.
1 comment:
Love the start. I actually know what you mean about if you disappeared would anyone notice. I would.
I know we are not 3d friends but I would miss you.
I have been where you are and still am in many ways. Being single can be very lonely at times. I do hope you find that special friend who will be there for you and ring or visit for no reason but to chat or visit.
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